I GUESS it would be a good way to teach a kid to think outside the box (move after Dad put the camera in his way) but the way the Dad chuckles...he is just an asshole and is going to scar his child.

Latest intel on the so-called War on Terror has found that terrorists are using explosive breast implants to hide bombs. Being a TSA agent at the airport just got a whole lot more fun.

In response to the recent rapes of a teenager and a 9-year old russian girl, Goa's deputy director of tourism, Pamela Mascarhenas, had this to say about the (alleged) attacks, "You can't blame the locals; they have never seen such women. Foreign tourists must maintain a certain degree of modesty in their clothing. Walking on the beaches half-naked is bound to titillate the senses..."

That's right - wear a bikini and you are just asking to be raped (like the 9-year old).

The early front-runner for innovation of the year goes to Princeton university researchers that can derive power from squeezing, moving and bouncing silicon. Potential applications include pacemakers AND the more silicon, the more power provided. CPR just got a whole lot more fun.

NY to repeal cell phone ban because a study by the Highway Loss Data Institute shows that there are no reductions in crashes in locations with the bans. No just kidding - they ignored the results.

Watch my boss trounce the Republicans at their own meeting. Supposedly he did so well that Faux Fox News cut the debate off 20 minutes before it ended. I would love for someone to corroborate that assertion.

Update: Thing Progress (although it is also a left-wing, commie, pinko website) has the proof that Faux Fox News cut away in the middle of the exchange.

Kristina is already a pro at this.

The next time you leave a job, on the last day announce that you will email everyone at the office all the secrets you've learned about your coworkers. Think that would go over well? It's doubtful that you would have anything on Dustin Diamond's allegations:

- Mario Lopez raped a girl
- All the cast members fucked each other (except poor Screech)
- Mark-Paul Gosselaar had a bi-sexual threesome with an executive producer

Remember, these are all allegations. Read them all.